1. |
Empty Hands
03:58
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I sleep too little and I smoke too much
I drink my money and don't eat enough
Saturday night internet and whiskey sour
Early Sunday morning eating carrots in the shower
I drown my sorrow on lonely nights
Get so drunk I join dating sites
Nothing ever happens and I'm running out of goon
Then I'm eating ice cream using chocolate as a spoon
CHORUS
Here I am again at the bottom
Where nobody wants to be
So put out empty hands if you've got em
And give a little clap to me
Somewhere I let go of the throttle
Now I have to blink to see
So fill your empty hands with a bottle
And have a little drink with me
I'd like to be a little bit fit
But I hate jogging and my stamina's shit
I'll go out to join a gym but when I come back
I'll be sitting at the TV with a coke and big mac
I utilize YouTube for muscle education
Exercise videos for extra motivation
At first Its captivating cos the men are toned and flexible
Then it seems degrading and a little homosexual
CHORUS
Feeling Down
Freak and frown
Wasted years
Salty tears
Here I stand
With empty hands
One more beer
And its up from here
CHORUS
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2. |
Pissed
06:57
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She's hot from her curls, down to her stilettos
Looking like a girl who's life is a libretto
Singing in the street, drunk dancing, heels up
Til she falls, ass over A-cup
Socially inept and adequately out of place
Liquor vapors saturating all her breathing space
Intoxicating any man who gets to first base
I think she has a piece of meat pie on her face
Watch out kid, she's coming
Watch out kid, she's coming
Watch out kid, she's coming
Just run
CHORUS
Trip when you walk
She's a bit pissed
Spit when you talk
She's a bit pissed
Couldn't hold a fork
She's a bit pissed
Your skirt is too short and
You shouldn't wear a white top
Too much gloss
She's a bit pissed
Throwing up like a boss
She's a bit pissed
Causing chaos
She's a bit pissed
Swearing in the street
Not afraid of a bike cop
You don't love me x4
She's pretty like a city girl but she's a panther
Killing any man's advances like a cancer
Mess with her, you're the one who'll get roughed up
She'll drop kick your scrot she's a tough nut
Never had the need to have with her a can of mace
She's got a pocket knife in a cigarette case
Put a hand on her she'll put you in a back brace
Intimidating even with the pie on her face
Watch out kid, she's coming
Watch out kid, she's coming
Watch out kid, she's coming
Just run
CHORUS
Strut with her walk
She's a bit pissed
Hostile with her talk
She's a bit pissed
Claws like a hawk
She's a bit pissed
Dress to kill and
I wouldn't put it past her
Opposite of pacifist
She's a bit pissed
Possibly a masochist
She's a bit pissed
A little bit racist
She's a bit pissed
Does she want to go home?
I dare you to ask her
You don't love me x 4
CHORUS (both)
PART 2
Six in the morning and the sunrise
Is kind of a bitch cos it hurts your eyes
Cursing the A.M. As your hope dies
Bye a kebab and you'll be fine
Don't even know where you were last night
Check the stamps on your arm and you just might
Catching a cab alone is alright
Bye a kebab and you'll be fine
You won't find love here
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3. |
The One Who Never Was
04:12
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The shopping mall, quarter to nine
Select my purchase, and stand in line
Then at the counter, is where I found her
For the first time (I became extremely shy)
She's just two feet, in front of me
All I can give her, is my money
Now I swing her way, every Thursday
To buy CD's (With an ulterior motive)
CHORUS
I'll fade into the south without saying goodbye
And she'll go back to working without wondering why
Now I'm the only one who has these feelings because
I'm gonna leave this pretty city as the one who never was
Over again, each time I seek
To ask her out, but I can't speak
I've made myself poor, from buying records
Every week (Which doesn't really fit my budget)
Then suddenly, she met my gaze
Slight recognition, adorned her face
I may befriend her, if she remembers
In seven days (Though she may possibly find me creepy)
CHORUS
Fade into the south without saying goodbye
She'll go back to working without wondering why
Some day I'll have closure
When she turns me down
I'm back by popular detest now
She's still working late trading hours
Some day I'll have closure
When she turns me down
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4. |
Phenomenon
05:11
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Reluctant obligation and your days are getting longer
Freedom stands beside you so your coffee's getting stronger
Staring out the window see your aspiration calling
Wishing you could fly but you are still too busy crawling
Corporate smiles and phony laughs within your job description
Ask you how you are “good thanks” white lies and repetition
Every day's a coma starting nine and ending five
Depression is your colleague til the new weekend arrives
CHORUS
But online You're a phenomenon
Wonder with the thunder of a mastodon
MMO monster, GG when it's over
Watch out noobs he's logging on
Youth falls sick and fades away for everyone it seems
Duty and commitment tends to swallow all you dreams
Someone else' problem is vocation made to bore you
Make it spend it you're a point for currency to pass through
Stress and pressure sweating on your brow no time to winge
Hold onto your sanity come Friday time to binge
The light that silhouette's you is the background of far wealth
Give Caesar what is Caesar's save your heart for some one else
CHORUS
I'll be your strength (your lesser length)
Your brick veneer (your mother's fear)
I'll be the whisper of destruction in your ear
I'll be relief (fuck your belief)
I'll ease your pain (sickness attain)
I'll wash away your useless life like acid rain
I'll be your strength (your lesser length)
Your brick veneer (your mother's fear)
I'll be the one to whisper destruction in your ear
I'll be relief (fuck your belief)
I'll ease your pain (sickness attain)
I'll wash away your useless life like acid rain
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5. |
Walking Music
04:18
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Crap then a coffee when the day is dawning
Up too late cos a friend kept calling
Bitterly welcome a winter morning
Fuck it's cold, fuck it's cold
Trot to the train gotta push that tempo
Wind will win when it wants me to walk slow
Really got to get to the 8am though
Fuck it's cold, fuck it's cold.
“If I miss this train I'm gonna to be late.... again”
Just in time for the news I dread
Train not running there's a bus instead
Packed like the bowels of a cow well fed
Fuck it's crowded, fuck it's crowded
Shit damn, traffic jam that's not good
There's an old man passing the bus on foot
Exit here and leg it I should
Fuck it's crowded, fuck it's crowded
“Excuse me, excuse me!”
Gotta get from A to B when there's no other way
Time to get the music out and earphones in to play, my
CHORUS
Walking music, walking music
Walking from somewhere that is the place where I first started walking
Walking music, walking music
Walking to the place where I will be when I am finished walking
Push a button, cross a road x4
Icy breeze, dog bark and a cat meow
Feet to the beat jump a gutter with a thump, pow!
OCD gotta count every step now
Fuck this weather, fuck this weather
Cut with the tune of a strut so I use it
Base like a shot to the face from a boom stick
Feeling alright with my own theme music
Fuck it's raining.... awe fuck....
“Awe my socks are all squelchy”
Break for a place to be dry for a while
Rain like a doomsday, twenty twelve style
I will not walk five hundred miles
Not in this this weather, fuck this weather
Finally find me a place to huddle
Truck right up to the curb with a cuddle
Happy Monday, have some puddle
Fuck this rain, fuck this rain
“I really should invest in an umbrella”
Gotta get from here to there and try not to get drowned
Though it's wet I know I'll get a new view of this town, with
CHORUS
One two three four five six seven eight
Can you spare a buck so I can bye a coffee mate
A man asking for coin claims he hasn't an abode
I said “No sorry buddy I'm in walking music mode”
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6. |
Sentimental
04:42
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I don't know what I'd do
If I ever came to find you
I'd love to ride you
Where you are I can not tell
You left me for someone else
I hope they ring your bell
I miss the way you feel
And the colour of your steel
Your little wheels
No other has your chain
Or handles like you in the rain
I'll never ride again
I'll never ride again
A photograph of fun
Of you and I when we were young
I looked pretty dumb
That was when we first met
You were my first and best yet
I won't forget
I won't forget
They sent you far from me
I stored you in my memory
With Tom and Jerry
Unaware and never smart
You never meant to break my heart
You're just metal parts
You're just metal parts
You're just metal parts
You're just metal parts
So unaware
I don't know what I'd do
If I ever came to find you
I'd love to ride you
On my mind for so long
Thought you'd fade but I was wrong
This is a love song
This is a love song
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7. |
Noob
03:44
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This is how I want it to sound
I'm a groove faker or a tool
A music maker or a fool
Or you know, something like that
I've tried everything to get it right
Comically complicated and strictly simplified
I'm no singer though I've tried
I just yell into the shower head until it sounds alright
Oh I mix crap then play it back
Then its one more for the cutting floor, a new deleted track
There are many skills that I lack
As if music came and took me in then shat me out its crack
Give me back the beat, bring it back
Tell me where did the beat go
I'm losing it
Give me back the beat, bring it back
Tell me where did the beat go
I've lost it
I'm a groove faker, I'm a tool
A music maker or a fool
There's a tune in my noodle and I can't get it out
I'm a noob.
Almost given up on what I do
And the mixer that I use I'll abuse til I turn blue
Trying so damn hard to keep the mood
But my imperfections say don't blame the system blame the dude
I'm no rock star, more a diva
But I'm sure that I can shake you nonbeliever
Got that jitter bug, melody fever
Sadly I'm five years behind old Justin Bieber
Give me back the beat, bring it back
Tell me where did the beat go
I'm losing it again
Give me back the beat, bring it back
Tell me where did the beat go
I've lost it
I'm a groove faker, I'm a tool
A music maker or a fool
There's a tune in my noodle and I can't get it out
I'm a noob.
Now my microphone's not working properly
I don't know how to fix it, I'm just...
Musical interlude
Yeah I fixed it, oh yeah
That’s enough
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8. |
Kinetic Affection
04:35
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How did you get so beautiful
Did you fall out of the pretty tree
You must have hit every branch on the way down
Cos you've got quite an injury
I'm sure you're normally better
At recreational activities
But I'm glad you suck at climbing trees
Cos you fell for me
I like your face
In every conceivable way
Your pretty face
Motivating me to be a cliche
What's this magnetic attraction
Moving my devotion
It must be kinetic affection
That put my love in motion
Your smile is a skill you have
And you practice it every day
Its almost like you've training your lips in the art
Of turning heads and turning women gay
I don't know
what you need from me
But I can say for damn sure
Its not plastic surgery
I like your face
And I'm glad you're mine
Your pretty face
Even if you have a mong eye
What's this magnetic attraction
Moving my devotion
It must be kinetic affection
That put my love in motion
When I give you a kiss, its like placing my lips
On God's favourite daughter
There's magic in this, like Jesus getting pissed
from making too much wine out of water
I like your face
Delicious like a lamb roast
Your tasty face
I could spread your looks on toast
What's this magnetic attraction
Moving my devotion
It must be kinetic affection
That put my love in motion
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9. |
Internet Superstar
04:36
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Eh! Wrong answer, computer says no
Sitting in the study and a file wont load
There's an error. 404? GTFO!
What the fuck is a run time? I don't know
This is shit like everything else in your life
And the Brits won again in the cricket last night
At your wits end cos PC is a jerk
On the fritz but at least your dunny still works
Restart! Navigate the internet
You're poor cos you haven't got a pension yet
You're bored cos you haven't a creative outlet
You're lonely and don't even have any pets.
But you can kill two birds with one stone
If you get stoned with two birds at your home
You'll score, you won't be bored or alone
But you can't pick up unemployed and unknown
Unclean, indelicately dressed for years
Try to come up with some way to impress your peers
Too lazy to shave when you know that you should
But your ability to grow a beard is pretty damn good
Then it hits you, you could be a god damn pop star
Bounce like a boss in the back of a cop car
You can be a maverick and pound all the hot tarts
Everybody loves a new face in the top charts
CHORUS
Internet superstar, that is what you think you are
Internet superstar, left click and a loading bar
Internet superstar, didn't get you very far
You're on the web forever but we don't know who you are
Reload it re-reload it
Reload it re-re-re-reload it
You hit the web and then the whole damn place shook
More prisoners than the social networking race took
You have fans spanning cyberspace look
Does it really count if they're just friends on Facebook?
You want to be the next world wide man
With your picture posted all over 4chan
Forum decorum, in demand
Can't make Broadway so light up broadband.
Twitter it, you are a bad ass brother
You're mad cos your number one fan is your mother
A swinger, thinking you are way above a trucker
The finger, hash tag this motherfucker!
You got beef cos the internet's broken
Everybody's online bandwidth chokin'
Drink to that, better tip that cup
Do you have the stuff or the butt to stick it up?
CHORUS
“Dial up solo!”
CHORUS
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